Find Keep Love recently asked for your participation for a blog post on 10 Things Men Want Women To Know and Women Want Men To Know. Here’s the text from the original post:
All relationships improve with better communication, so let’s take the gloves off, and let the opposite sex know what we’re really thinking (completely anonymously, of course!). Ladies, what do you want men to know about, but never had the guts to say? What are we still not understanding that we should be?! And fellas, what do you want the ladies to know? Be open, be candid, and give them a sneak peek into what really goes on in the male mind.
10 Things Men Want Women To Know
Here are the top 10 responses from men about what they want women to know. Thanks to the contributors B.S., M.T., J.E., scottie89, and R.S.
- Men don’t always want to have sex on the first few dates. Well actually, to put it more accurately, we’re happy to wait a few dates to get to know each other before diving straight into the bedroom. If a man seems desperate for it/you, it (sex) might be all he wants you for. It’s fine if a sexual relationship is all you want, but if you want a real relationship with feelings, find a man who wants to get to know you first. If a man really likes you, he will wait (a reasonable amount of time!). We actually respect a woman who doesn’t give herself up so easily, but don’t make up silly rules like “I wait five dates (or three months or something else) before sleeping with someone.”
- Men have just as many emotions as women – we just deal with them alone or by ignoring them. When dealing with our feelings, we need our space and time with the boys, and most of the time, don’t need to communicate them verbally.
- Women don’t really need to spend so much time getting “pretty” for us – with the make-up and the multiple changes of dress. You look better with little to no make-up than with lots – most men really aren’t very superficial. And if you dress sexy – in a tight dress or with a large amount of cleavage – don’t then complain when you catch us staring!
- I go to the gym often and see some girls with make-up on and with nicely made-up hair. But you know what? A lot of guys find a girl working out, looking natural, with some sweat and in tight clothing is pretty damn sexy! And if we’re checking you out, we’re mostly looking at your body, not your make-up and hair.
- We really wish you’d get ready quicker. An hour getting ready is an hour of life you’re missing out on! Here’s proof: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2578041/Women-spend-3276-hours-getting-ready.html.
- Men are far less interested in looks than women think. We are visual creatures and look at aesthetically pleasing women, but any grown up man has looks fairly low down on his ideal partner list. Heterosexual men don’t pick beauty models (and the ones that do, I don’t think are grown up enough, or are extremely gorgeous themselves). Men in general like curves, bigger bums and breasts – probably because curvy figures appear healthier in relation to reproduction. We really don’t like stick-figured women or those who look like teenage boys. Sizes in the range 10-14 should be ideal for most men.
- Some ladies need to stop living in romantic fantasies. That a Ryan Gosling look-alike with a perfect body and lots of money is going to sweep them off their feet, with a perfect personality and perfect romanticism. No man is like that in real life – it is quite a lot of effort for us to be even moderately romantic. A lot of men do try in their own way, but we can’t live up to the fantastical expectations of this alternate reality. We also get confused by what you actually want: do you want a sexy, macho, manly man or a sensitive, romantic guy? You can’t have both.
- If men don’t have confidence in their opinions, or feel they’re at a stage in the relationship where they can be completely honest, they will say what they think are expected to say. This is especially true in regard to looks and the topic of whether or not we want commitment and/or kids.
- Emotional blackmail works, but it just isn’t cool. We concede arguments when you make them personal, but it doesn’t mean we don’t resent you afterwards for playing that card.
- You can please a man quite simply with good food and good sex. Fill our belly (the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!), and fulfill our sexual needs, and we’re all yours. And stroke our confidence and ego, especially in a sexual way, and you’ve got us locked in for good!
10 Things Women Want Men To Know
Here are the top 10 responses from women about what they want men to know. Thanks to the contributors Fart Hater, One Girl, E.H., D., and M.E.
- Body smells and noises are not funny, they don’t smell good and they’re one of the biggest turn-offs for a woman. My husband does them all the time then laughs like an excited schoolgirl at my reaction! Our bed is a sanctuary and I don’t like falling asleep in a dutch oven. But by far the worst are farts during sex. Just gross! I know it’s a normal bodily function, but have some etiquette, please!
- There are some simple toilet habits we’d love you men to learn – they really are simple, but some men just don’t get it. Firstly, putting the toilet seat down – it takes less than a second, and means that in the middle of the night we won’t sit down on a cold, sometimes urine-splattered rim. Next, if you happen to miss the bowl or splash around the edges, it shouldn’t be our job to clean it up. It isn’t nice to step in your wee, it smells and it stains. Finally, for number twos, there’s air freshener, a window and/or an extractor fan for a purpose and no-one other than you is proud of the smell. And if you leave skidmarks, please use the toilet brush.
- Don’t say what you think I want to hear, I want you to be honest and open with me, but also use some tact when doing so. You should also know the difference between big lies and little lies (your life depends on it!)
- Do not sit and watch me clean the house up from top to bottom, and then after I have spent hours doing it, ask me if I need any help! The same goes for when I’m making dinner.
- We don’t want to keep seeing pictures of your junk. We are not as visually stimulated as you, and penises aren’t that attractive, even when they’re erect. If we want to see, we’ll ask you – until then, keep it in your pants. “My name is John. Here’s a photo of my penis.” is not an acceptable introduction.
- When having sex and intimate moments, learn to read my body and my reactions, instead of fumbling around in the dark and just going for the kill! It takes a lot longer for a woman to hit a sexual high than a guy (despite what adult videos might show) and you need to realise this!
- Each woman’s body is different and remember that what may have worked in the bedroom for a previous partner might not work for me. Some women are more sensitive than others, some less so. Take your time reading your partner’s body to find out what she likes, but keep it interesting – mix it up a bit and don’t do the same thing over and over again.
- It’s nice to see a man’s emotional side every now and then, and to hear from you that you love and care for us. You can still be manly but affectionate, and caring and sensitive, and we won’t think any less of you. It’s also okay to cry occasionally! It’s part of being human.
- Romance is important, particularly after the first stages of dating. Too many men are romantic at first, and then lose it after a while (or stop trying?). We need our emotional side satisfied with love and affection. We love romantic surprises every now and then, so don’t be shy in giving them!
- Stay sexy for us. Take care of your appearance and try not to become too comfortable in the relationship. We do love you for who you are, but it is difficult to find someone attractive who has let themselves go – both weight-wise and in terms of their personal hygiene.
Do you have something else you really want the opposite sex to know? Leave a comment below, send us a message through our Facebook page, tweet us at @FindKeepLove or send an email via firstname.lastname@example.org.