10 Things Men Want Women To Know & Women Want Men To Know

Find Keep Love recently asked for your participation for a blog post on 10 Things Men Want Women To Know and Women Want Men To Know. Here’s the text from the original post:

All relationships improve with better communication, so let’s take the gloves off, and let the opposite sex know what we’re really thinking (completely anonymously, of course!). Ladies, what do you want men to know about, but never had the guts to say? What are we still not understanding that we should be?! And fellas, what do you want the ladies to know? Be open, be candid, and give them a sneak peek into what really goes on in the male mind.

10 Things Men Want Women To Know

Here are the top 10 responses from men about what they want women to know. Thanks to the contributors B.S., M.T., J.E., scottie89, and R.S.

  1. Men don’t always want to have sex on the first few dates. Well actually, to put it more accurately, we’re happy to wait a few dates to get to know each other before diving straight into the bedroom. If a man seems desperate for it/you, it (sex) might be all he wants you for. It’s fine if a sexual relationship is all you want, but if you want a real relationship with feelings, find a man who wants to get to know you first. If a man really likes you, he will wait (a reasonable amount of time!). We actually respect a woman who doesn’t give herself up so easily, but don’t make up silly rules like “I wait five dates (or three months or something else) before sleeping with someone.”
  2. Men have just as many emotions as women – we just deal with them alone or by ignoring them. When dealing with our feelings, we need our space and time with the boys, and most of the time, don’t need to communicate them verbally.
  3. Women don’t really need to spend so much time getting “pretty” for us – with the make-up and the multiple changes of dress. You look better with little to no make-up than with lots – most men really aren’t very superficial. And if you dress sexy – in a tight dress or with a large amount of cleavage – don’t then complain when you catch us staring!
  4. I go to the gym often and see some girls with make-up on and with nicely made-up hair. But you know what? A lot of guys find a girl working out, looking natural, with some sweat and in tight clothing is pretty damn sexy! And if we’re checking you out, we’re mostly looking at your body, not your make-up and hair.
  5. We really wish you’d get ready quicker. An hour getting ready is an hour of life you’re missing out on! Here’s proof: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2578041/Women-spend-3276-hours-getting-ready.html.
  6. Men are far less interested in looks than women think. We are visual creatures and look at aesthetically pleasing women, but any grown up man has looks fairly low down on his ideal partner list. Heterosexual men don’t pick beauty models (and the ones that do, I don’t think are grown up enough, or are extremely gorgeous themselves). Men in general like curves, bigger bums and breasts – probably because curvy figures appear healthier in relation to reproduction. We really don’t like stick-figured women or those who look like teenage boys. Sizes in the range 10-14 should be ideal for most men.
  7. Some ladies need to stop living in romantic fantasies. That a Ryan Gosling look-alike with a perfect body and lots of money is going to sweep them off their feet, with a perfect personality and perfect romanticism. No man is like that in real life – it is quite a lot of effort for us to be even moderately romantic. A lot of men do try in their own way, but we can’t live up to the fantastical expectations of this alternate reality. We also get confused by what you actually want: do you want a sexy, macho, manly man or a sensitive, romantic guy? You can’t have both.
  8. If men don’t have confidence in their opinions, or feel they’re at a stage in the relationship where they can be completely honest, they will say what they think are expected to say. This is especially true in regard to looks and the topic of whether or not we want commitment and/or kids.
  9. Emotional blackmail works, but it just isn’t cool. We concede arguments when you make them personal, but it doesn’t mean we don’t resent you afterwards for playing that card.
  10. You can please a man quite simply with good food and good sex. Fill our belly (the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!), and fulfill our sexual needs, and we’re all yours. And stroke our confidence and ego, especially in a sexual way, and you’ve got us locked in for good!

10 Things Women Want Men To Know

Here are the top 10 responses from women about what they want men to know. Thanks to the contributors Fart Hater, One Girl, E.H., D., and M.E.

  1. Body smells and noises are not funny, they don’t smell good and they’re one of the biggest turn-offs for a woman. My husband does them all the time then laughs like an excited schoolgirl at my reaction! Our bed is a sanctuary and I don’t like falling asleep in a dutch oven. But by far the worst are farts during sex. Just gross! I know it’s a normal bodily function, but have some etiquette, please!
  2. There are some simple toilet habits we’d love you men to learn – they really are simple, but some men just don’t get it. Firstly, putting the toilet seat down – it takes less than a second, and means that in the middle of the night we won’t sit down on a cold, sometimes urine-splattered rim. Next, if you happen to miss the bowl or splash around the edges, it shouldn’t be our job to clean it up. It isn’t nice to step in your wee, it smells and it stains. Finally, for number twos, there’s air freshener, a window and/or an extractor fan for a purpose and no-one other than you is proud of the smell. And if you leave skidmarks, please use the toilet brush.
  3. Don’t say what you think I want to hear, I want you to be honest and open with me, but also use some tact when doing so. You should also know the difference between big lies and little lies (your life depends on it!)
  4. Do not sit and watch me clean the house up from top to bottom, and then after I have spent hours doing it, ask me if I need any help! The same goes for when I’m making dinner.
  5. We don’t want to keep seeing pictures of your junk. We are not as visually stimulated as you, and penises aren’t that attractive, even when they’re erect. If we want to see, we’ll ask you – until then, keep it in your pants. “My name is John. Here’s a photo of my penis.” is not an acceptable introduction.
  6. When having sex and intimate moments, learn to read my body and my reactions, instead of fumbling around in the dark and just going for the kill! It takes a lot longer for a woman to hit a sexual high than a guy (despite what adult videos might show) and you need to realise this!
  7. Each woman’s body is different and remember that what may have worked in the bedroom for a previous partner might not work for me. Some women are more sensitive than others, some less so. Take your time reading your partner’s body to find out what she likes, but keep it interesting – mix it up a bit and don’t do the same thing over and over again.
  8. It’s nice to see a man’s emotional side every now and then, and to hear from you that you love and care for us. You can still be manly but affectionate, and caring and sensitive, and we won’t think any less of you. It’s also okay to cry occasionally! It’s part of being human.
  9. Romance is important, particularly after the first stages of dating. Too many men are romantic at first, and then lose it after a while (or stop trying?). We need our emotional side satisfied with love and affection. We love romantic surprises every now and then, so don’t be shy in giving them!
  10. Stay sexy for us. Take care of your appearance and try not to become too comfortable in the relationship. We do love you for who you are, but it is difficult to find someone attractive who has let themselves go – both weight-wise and in terms of their personal hygiene.

Do you have something else you really want the opposite sex to know? Leave a comment below, send us a message through our Facebook page, tweet us at @FindKeepLove or send an email via findkeeplove@gmail.com.


February A to Z: Be Inspired (Inspirational Quotes)

If you were following Find Keep Love‘s Twitter feed (@FindKeepLove) or Facebook page throughout February, we went through an A to Z of Inspirational Quotes, called Be Inspired. We can all do with an extra bit of motivation each day: to give us the courage and strength to overcome the challenges and fears we face in life. This collection of inspirational quotes should help put things in context and makes things a little brighter.

  • All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. – Walt Disney
  • Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else. – Les Brown
  • Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections. – Anonymous
  • Be the change you wish to see in the world. – Ghandi
  • But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads. – Albert Camus
  • Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. – Joshua J. Marine
  • Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the conquest of it. – William Danforth
  • Do not be like the cat who wanted a fish but was afraid to get his paws wet. – Shakespeare
  • Don’t treat the symptom, instead find the cause. – Anonymous
  • Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Don’t worry about being worried. You’re heading out on an adventure and you can always change your mind along the way and try something else. – Tracy Kidder
  • Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. – Anais Nin
  • Forget all the reasons it won’t work and believe the one reason that it will. – Unknown
  • Go where you are celebrated – not tolerated. If they can’t see the real value of you, it’s time for a new start. – Anonymous
  • Happiness and self-confidence come naturally when you feel yourself moving and progressing toward becoming the very best person you can possibly be. – Brian Tracy
  • If everything you try works, you aren’t trying hard enough. – Gordon Moore
  • It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. – Erma Bombeck
  • I don’t regret the things I’ve done, I regret the things I didn’t do when I had the chance. – Anonymous
  • It’s hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it’s harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want. – Anonymous
  • In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. – Bill Cosby
  • Just remember there is someone out there that is more than happy with less than what you have. – Anonymous
  • Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. – Mark Twain
  • Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. – Mother Teresa
  • Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish them. – Anonymous
  • Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop. – Anonymous
  • Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will. – Jawaharal Nehru
  • Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future. – Robert H. Schuller
  • Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. – Helen Keller
  • Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome. – Samuel Johnson
  • Nothing is miserable unless you think it is so. – Boethius
  • Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake. – Henry David Thoreau
  • Of all the forces that make for a better world, none is so indispensable, none so powerful, as hope. Without hope men are only half alive. With hope they dream and think and work. – Charles Sawyer
  • People need loving the most when they deserve it the least. – John Harrigan
  • Please don’t ask me what the score is – I’m not even sure what game we’re playing. – Ashleigh Brilliant
  • Question everything. Learn something. Answer nothing. – Euripides
  • Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance. – Confucius
  • Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time. – Sir John Lubbock
  • Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth. – Muhammad Ali
  • Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming. – John R. Wooden
  • There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were, and ask why not? – Robert Kennedy
  • The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. – Steve Jobs
  • The pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow. For every challenge encountered there is opportunity for growth. – Anonymous
  • The biggest failure you can have in life is making the mistake of never trying at all. – Anonymous
  • There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying things which are beyond the power of our will. – Epictetus
  • Try not to become a man of success but a man of value. – Albert Einstein
  • The grand essentials of life are something to do, something to love, something to hope for. – Thomas Chalmers
  • The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. – Marcus Antoninus
  • To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless. – Gilbert K. Chesterton
  • We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort. – Jesse Owens
  • We learn something from everyone who passes through our lives. Some lessons are painful, some are painless… but, all are priceless. – Anonymous
  • When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. – Helen Keller
  • You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or self-confidence. – Robert Frost
  • You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses. – Ziggy
  • You cannot create experience. You must undergo it. – Albert Camus
  • You can’t bring back the past, and you’re not promised the future, so enjoy life now. – Kimo Paki

What are your favourite inspirational quotes?

Keep in touch with the latest happenings on Twitter and Facebook. If there are any topics you’ve been thinking about yourself and want covered on the blog, leave a comment below or contact Find Keep Love at findkeeplove@gmail.com.

January A to Z: Love Quotes

If you were following Find Keep Love‘s Twitter feed (@FindKeepLove) or Facebook page in January, we went through an A to Z of Love Quotes, covering musings on love by some of the greatest and most famous minds – philosophers, scientists, musicians, doctors, businessmen, and more. The following is the pick of the bunch; from Shakespeare to Stephen King, Einstein to Oprah, Mother Theresa to Christian Dior. As you’ll see below, love is thought of in many different ways, but it is something that we all experience, and hopefully this collection of quotes provokes your own thinking on love.

  • All days are nights to see till I see thee,
    And nights bright days when dreams do show thee me. – Shakespeare
  • A life without love is like a year without summer. – Swedish proverb
  • Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart. – Anonymous
  • Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. – Lao Tzu
  • Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. – Saint Augustine
  • Can miles truly separate you from friends… If you want to be with someone you love, aren’t you already there? – Richard Bach
  • Do I love you because you are beautiful,

    Or are you beautiful because I love you?

     – Rodgers and Hammerstein

  • Don’t hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love. – Honore de Balzac
  • Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. – Kahlil Gibran
  • Faults are thick where love is thin. – Anonymous
  • For, you see, each day I love you more,
    Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. – Rosemonde Gérard
  • Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. – Albert Einstein

  • Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says “For the woman I love” and the second, “For my best friend”. – Anonymous

  • Give love and unconditional acceptance to those you encounter, and notice what happens. – Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

  • He whom love touches not walks in darkness. – Plato

  • Hearts are not to be had as a gift. Hearts are to be earned. – William Butler Yeats

  • If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you’ve made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. – Anonymous

  • I love people. I love my family, my children… but inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that’s where you renew your springs that never dry up. – Pearl S. Buck

  • If I had to choose between loving you and breathing, I would use my last breath to say I love you. – Anonymous

  • Just because somebody doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. – Anonymous

  • Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong. – Ella Fitzgerald

  • Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. – Oscar Wilde

  • Know that you are your greatest enemy, but also your greatest friend. – Jeremy Taylor

  • Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. – Lao Tzu

  • Love is not looking at each other, but looking together in the same direction. – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  • Love is the little things we do for each other. – Anonymous

  • Love is a wonderful thing. You never have to take it away from one person to give it to another. There’s always more than enough to go around. – Pamela de Roy

  • Love is the only thing you get more of by giving it away. – Tom Wilson

  • Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. –

    Oprah Winfrey

  • Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence. – Sydney Smith

  • Live for love. Without love, you don’t live. – Anonymous

  • Line by line, moment by moment, special times are etched into our memories in the permanent ink of everlasting love in our relationships. – Gloria Gaither

  • Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop. – Anonymous

  • Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. – Song of Solomon 8:7

  • May no gift be too small to give, nor too simple to receive, which is wrapped in thoughtfulness and tied with love. – L.O. Baird
  • Men always want to be a woman’s first love – what women like is to be a man’s last romance. – Oscar Wilde
  • Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy. – Henry Kissinger
  • No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. – Anonymous
  • Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. – Charlie Brown
  • Once you have learned to love, you will have learned to live. – Anonymous
  • One forgives to the degree that one loves. – François Duc de La Rochefoucauld
  • One is very crazy when in love. – Sigmund Freud
  • One of the most effectual ways of pleasing and of making one’s self loved is to be cheerful; joy softens more hearts than tears do. – Madame de Sartory
  • Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love. – George Eliot
  • Please be careful with my heart. You can take it, just don’t break it or my world would fall apart. – Anonymous
  • People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway. – Mother Teresa
  • Pure love is a willingness to give without a thought of receiving anything in return. – Peace Pilgrim
  • Put love first. Entertain thoughts that give life. And when a thought or resentment, or hurt, or fear comes your way, have another thought that is more powerful — a thought that is love. – Mary Manin Morrissey
  • Quality means doing it right when no one is looking. – Henry Ford
  • Resolve to be thyself: and know, that he who finds himself, loses his misery. – Matthew Arnold
  • Real loss only occurs when you’ve loved something more than you love yourself. – from Good Will Hunting
  • So, fall asleep love, loved by me… for I know love, I am loved by thee. – Robert Browning
  • Someone who does not run towards the allure of love walks a road where nothing lives. – Rumi
  • Seduce my mind and you can have my body, find my soul and I’m yours forever. – Anonymous
  • Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own home. Give love to your children, to a wife or husband, to a next-door neighbour. – Mother Teresa
  • Take love, multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of forever… and you still have only a glimpse of how I feel for you. – from Meet Joe Black
  • The most beautiful view is the one I share with you. – Anonymous
  • The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them. – Stephen King
  • The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. – Helen Keller
  • The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest. – Anonymous
  • The greatest happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. – Victor Hugo
  • Ultimately love is everything. – M. Scott Peck
  • Unless you love someone, nothing else makes any sense. – E. E. Cummings
  • Understanding can overcome any situation, however mysterious or insurmountable it may appear to be. – Norman Vincent Peale
  • Valor grows by daring, fear by holding back. – Publilius Syrus
  • Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. – Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
  • We are not loved because we are valued; we are valued because we are loved. – William Sloan Coffin
  • What I need to live has been given to me by the earth. Why I need to live has been given to me by you. – Anonymous
  • What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. – Pearl Bailey
  • When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. – Jimi Hendrix
  • Why do people have to lose things to find out what they really mean? – Anonymous
  • (e)Xpose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free. – Jim Morrison
  • You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. – Henny Youngman
  • You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. – Sam Keen
  • You don’t love someone because they’re beautiful, they are beautiful because you love them. – Anonymous
  • You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it. – Anonymous
  • Zest is the secret of all beauty. There is no beauty that is attractive without zest. – Christian Dior

What are your favourite quotes on love?

Throughout February, Find Keep Love posted an A to Z of inspirational quotes, and please do keep in touch on Twitter and Facebook. If there are any topics you’ve been thinking about yourself and want covered on the blog, leave a comment below or contact Find Keep Love at findkeeplove@gmail.com.

First post. Welcome to Find Keep Love.

Welcome to my blog, Find Keep Love.

Find Keep Love was born over Christmas 2012 after a discussion on finding love (with a single mid-30s friend) and keeping love (with a family member a couple of years into a long-term relationship and a surrogate Aunt and Uncle who have been happily married for over 30 years).

During my own quest to find love, and subsequently keep/maintain/nurture that love, I explored a number of different avenues, and developed a keen insight into love and relationships. Find Keep Love is a place to share this insight with others, and if the tips and discussions here help even one person find love and keep it, I will have made a small contribution to making the world a better place.

Now, a little bit about me: I am a male engineer/scientist in his early 30s and as an engineer I’m committed to providing practical solutions to societal problems. Life has improved immensely in recent times: we have engineered fast and smarter methods of transport, developed smartphones and essentially have most of the world’s information at our fingertips, and created and refined medicines and medical techniques to improve quality of life and extend lifespans. Yet has our ability to love – or even our luck with love – improved to the same extent over time? In comparison with all these other wonderful, life-changing things, I don’t think we can answer this with a definitive yes. So many people still struggle to find and keep love. It is something that is not taught, but learnt the hard way, “on the streets,” so to speak – through experiences, bad and good.

But there are ways to improve your chances, and Find Keep Love will provide practical and useful advice and tools for finding and keeping love long term, which can be applied in anyone’s daily life. There will be no gimmicks, and no quick fixes or magical solutions here. I write about love, relationships and personal happiness with an appropriate balance of head and heart, to give others realistic hope for their own love lives.

Part 1: Find is aimed at single men and women, and focuses on finding love. Part 2: Keep is aimed at couples at any stage of their relationship – from newly formed couples just beginning their journey to couples who have been together for many years – and focuses on keeping love strong.

Love is one of the strongest motivating forces known to mankind, and its ability to influence our thoughts and actions should not be underestimated. Love is something that we all seek in its various forms, defined differently from one person to the next, yet for many it is elusive. This blog aims to provoke your own thinking with my own, and help lead you in the right direction to finding and keeping your own love, and living a happier and more enriched life.

Happy reading. Keep up to date with the latest happenings on Find Keep Love on Twitter and on Facebook.