10 Ways To Make Yourself More Attractive To The Opposite Sex – Part 2

In the previous post, 10 Ways To Make Yourself More Attractive To The Opposite Sex – Part 1, we examined the first five of ten ways to attract the opposite sex and increase your chances of attracting the right people in your life. In this post, we examine the second five of ten ways.

6. Be unique, interesting and dynamic

How can you stand out (in a good way) to gain attraction in the first instance? What sets you apart from the other potential dates out there? Some of the same rules apply to daters in the dating world that apply for businesses marketing their product or service or when you’re applying for a job. You want to give your date (or potential date) the impression that you would be great to be around more often. Work on a unique talent, skill, interest or hobby that sets you aside from the rest (and allows you to show off a little).

Instead of clichéd date ideas, try something different and original – push yourself outside of the comfort zone of dinner and drinks or a movie. You want to stand out from the crowd and be memorable – you could do something outside (weather permitting) or something cultural or something active. You could plan a date that reflects you and your interests – for you to enjoy without pretending you’re someone you’re not – and let your real self shine through. Life is to be enjoyed, so do something fun and/or enriching. See our post on First Date Dos and Don’ts for some more tips.

7. Be confident

Confident people are generally more positive and have a strong self-belief and a healthy ego. Confidence can be a powerful trait – it can make you more successful and can attract the attention and respect of those around you. There is a fine line, however, between someone who comes across as confident and someone who comes across as arrogant or cocky, so don’t push it too far.

Insecure people often feel jealous and this can put unnecessary strain on relationships, so it is important to come across as being comfortable with yourself (see Step 1. Love Yourself). Knowing what you want before you start looking for it is crucial, too (see Step 2. Know Yourself)! Knowing what you want and not compromising your own personal standards will come across as a confident and powerful statement, and possibly avoid heartache with the wrong person.

8. Be trustworthy

One of the most desirable, attractive traits in a long-term partner is their trustworthiness. Trustworthy people are honest, loyal, dependable and consistent, and these are all great things to have in a long-term partner. Finding someone you can share everything with – your secrets, your hopes and dreams, and your ups and downs – without judgement or fear of them sharing this information with others is something everyone hopes for. For more on this topic, see Find Keep Love’s post on 10 Ways To Become Trustworthy & More Trusting.

9. Be emotionally stable and available

We all need to get things off our chests occasionally – and this, of course, is healthy – but no-one wants to date someone who’s always complaining about others or whinging about past relationships. Bringing emotional baggage to a new relationship can be detrimental to the chances of it achieving its full potential. Emotionally stable and available people appear solid and dependable, and having someone as a mate who can provide rational, emotional support is very attractive. Being available emotionally allows you to engage with others emotionally, and emotionally available people don’t run away from true intimacy, allowing deeper bonds to form quicker.

10. Be sexy (and use your sexuality)

Women have perfected over many thousands of years the power of being sexual and using their sexuality/sex appeal as a powerful tool to attract men. Men can be sexy, too, and can use their own sex appeal to attract women. Men and women think quite differently (see our post on 10 Things Men Want Women To Know & Women Want Men To Know for some great examples), and this is especially true when it comes to sex and sexuality! Acknowledging and understanding the difference between men and woman and what motivates the behaviour of each sex is the first step to understanding the rules of the ‘game’ and to knowing what the right things are to say and do for attracting (and turning on) the opposite sex. ‘Sexy’ is defined differently for different people, and like #6 above, everyone has their own way of being sexy, and it doesn’t just mean physical sexiness! The mind is a powerful thing – being interesting and passionate about something can be sexy, and intelligence can be sexy. A good sense of humour and wit can also be sexy. As a man, being sexy can mean being strong, brave and/or confident, and your masculinity can be used to your advantage. The most important thing is to use your strengths to your advantage to be the sexiest person you can be.

In summary, in addition to the five ways in Part 1, the ten ways to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex are

1. Have good personal hygiene
2. Dress appropriately to make yourself feel good about yourself
3. Eat well and exercise
4. Smile (but check your teeth!)
5. Be kind and helpful to others
6. Be unique, interesting and dynamic
7. Be confident (without being arrogant or cocky)
8. Be trustworthy
9. Be emotionally stable and available
10. Be sexy (and use your sexuality)

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5 More Signs Someone Really Likes You

The previous post on 5 Signs Someone Really Likes You was just not long enough to cover all the signs, so here we’ll look at five more signs that someone really likes you. In addition to the five signs from the first post:

1. Their body language
2. Calling for no reason
3. Their friends know about you
4. Giving you attention
5. Occasional, subtle passive aggressive behaviour

You should also look out for the following five:

6. Telling you personal secrets
Trust is important in a close personal relationship and if someone tells you their personal secrets, they are expressing trust and confidence in you. In the same way that they want to know more about you if they really like you, they will tell you about themselves, often with more personal details than they might otherwise confide in others. Sharing secrets is one way of strengthening the bond between two people.

7. Checking you out when you’re not looking

If you catch them staring at you, and they look away, perhaps with a blush or a smile, when you notice them, this is a good sign that they like you. Tied in with sign #1 (their body language), they’ll give you lots of eye contact when engaged in conversation, and they might just check you out when you think they’re not looking. Particularly if they have limited time with you, they will spend as much time as possible looking at you because you are physically appealing to them.

8. Defending you

As with sign #4 (giving you attention), when you are in trouble of some form, they will try to help you out, and this extends to defending you when you are being personally attacked in some way or another. The usual form of this defending for both sexes is verbal, and this is even more prevalent with so many ways to communicate these days: Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and many other social networks and media sharing sites. Our opportunities to share information have never been greater, but with this comes more bullying and attacking of others, particularly under the veil of anonymity the internet affords.

9. Complimenting & supporting you

They will attempt to make you feel good by complimenting you and supporting your endeavours. They will pay good attention to you and remember things about you. They might notice, for example, that you’ve styled your hair differently (or just had a haircut) or that you’re wearing new clothes or a new scent, and compliment you on it. They will ask about the activities in your life and the things that interest you, and support, encourage and cheer you on. They will congratulate your successes and commiserate with you when things don’t go to plan.

10. Trying hard to impress you

It might be that they dress better or change their appearance in some way to get your attention. It could be that they laugh a little too hard at a joke that, quite frankly, isn’t really that funny (particularly if, like me, you use dad jokes a little too often). They might get you a gift – with or without a reason, like a birthday or Christmas – that clearly shows they have thought a lot about what your tastes are like and what you might need or want. They might rearrange even the most hectic or inflexible of schedules, just to spend a short amount of time with you. Whichever example you think about, they are trying hard to impress you and go above and beyond the normal standards of friendship to do so.

As I wrote in the original post 5 Signs Someone Really Likes You, the more of the signs described above someone shows towards you, the higher the chance they are interested in you. And now that you know what some of the signs are, you can proactively adopt these to show those in your life who you care about, that indeed you actually do!

Can you tell whether someone really likes you or not? What gives you the best indication that someone does, in fact, like you? Share your signs with us by leaving a comment below.

5 Signs Someone Really Likes You

Sometimes it’s hard enough to know exactly what your own feelings for someone else are, let alone trying to guess how they might feel towards you. In this post, we’ll touch on a few of the signs that someone really likes you and help reduce the sleepless nights and energy wasted on wondering what might be going on in their head and heart.

1. Their body language.

Try as we might, sometimes we just can’t hide our inner feelings and desires. Someone’s body language can tell you a lot about how someone feels subconsciously (or even consciously) towards you. One of the most important cues is eye contact. When you have their attention, you’ll get good eye contact. If things aren’t going so well, you’ll find their eyes wandering elsewhere – some warning signs are checking their watch, frequently checking their phone, and checking out people other than you. If they find you particularly attractive, you might find their eyes wandering slowly over your face in a triangular movement between the eyes and mouth.

They will directly or indirectly try to reduce the distance between the two of you – by standing closer to you or moving their chair closer. Do they mirror your posture or gestures subconsciously? They are likely to face you when talking to you – with their feet, arms or hands pointed towards you – in contrast to standing sideways or away from you. It shows that they are comfortable with being close to you.

If they smile more around you, it’s a good sign that they like you (or at least find you amusing). Think about when you smile – it’s when you’re happy, content or full of good feeling. They will appear to be in a better mood around you, and as a result, they’ll smile naturally (it’s pretty hard to hide a genuine smile). They may have had a bad day and will be initially tense/upset/angry/frustrated, but they’ll seem relaxed and happy around you after a few minutes. That’s a sure sign they enjoy your company.

And finally, light touching – of the arm or shoulder, for example – is a really strong indicator that this person is attracted to you. How do they react if you make light contact with them?

2. Calling for no real reason.

They might try to get your attention by calling or texting you for seemingly trivial things. How flimsy is their excuse for calling you? They might just be calling because they want to talk to you and hear your voice, but want to make up an excuse to seem less vulnerable. They might just contact you to tell you something that happened in their day or ask you about yours.

3. Their friends know about you.

If they’re happy to introduce you to their friends, it’s a good sign they like you. If they have feelings for you, they would have confided in at least one friend about you. If he/she really likes you, they’ll give you a warm introduction (and might even brag about you) to their friends.

4. Giving you attention.

As I mentioned in my post on Modern Day Dating & Scheduling Dates, attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity, so if you have someone’s attention, it’s a sure-fire sign that they like and enjoy your company. The attention can take many forms: they might, for example, ask you a lot of genuine questions about yourself (and, in particular, if you’re single or not or whether you have a love interest yourself). This will be because they have felt some kind of attraction towards you and they’ll be interested in finding out more to see how compatible you really are.

They might prioritise you over other people and activities – or organise their own activities in such a way that the chances of meeting you increase. If you’re upset or in poor health, they might try making you feel better in some way – by visiting you (or if it’s contagious, sending you or saying something comforting). They might try offering assistance when help is needed – moving house, for example, or painting a room. Many of us have a hard time putting our feelings into words, and it’s much easier and subtler to show people how you feel and that you care about them. Actions speak louder than words, as I detailed in 10 Ways To Surprise Your Partner.

5. Occasional, subtle passive aggressive behaviour.

When someone really likes you, their behaviour can be occasionally and subtly passive aggressive. Partly because sometimes strong feelings can be confusing and hard to deal with, but also because they are invested emotionally in you. You can upset them without even knowing – it might be not returning a message for a few days or not inviting them on a night out, when they were in fact really looking forward to hearing from you or seeing you. When you really like someone, there is a tendency to over-think things and take things personally.

The more of the signs described above someone shows towards you, the higher the chance they are interested in you. In the end, it all boils down to whether or not this person gives you their time and attention. Because if you really like someone, you’ll find time to spend with them, and when you’re with them, you’ll give them all your attention.

You can read about some more signs that someone likes you, including telling you personal secrets and defending you, in our follow-up post, 5 More Signs Someone Really Likes You.

Can you tell whether someone really likes you or not? What gives you the best indication that someone does, in fact, like you?

Part 1: Find Love. First Date Dos And Don’ts

Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to ask someone out on a date or just let someone special to you know that you care. It may have been marketed and commercialised, and some people treat it as just another “Hallmark holiday”, but we at Find Keep Love think there is no better ‘official’ opportunity to share the love than February 14th each year.

If you are lucky enough to have scored a date for Valentine’s Day and this is your first date together, it’s a good idea to go over the first date dos and don’ts listed below. This post might be designed for those in the early days of dating, but there’s some wisdom here for those in longer term relationships: how many of the dos do you do, and how many of the don’ts have crept into your dating behaviour?

  • DO think carefully about the location of the date and the activities you have planned. It pays to choose a safe date for your first date, and it’s definitely worthwhile finding out a little about your date’s preferences in a general sense before choosing where to go. You don’t want to take a vegetarian to a steakhouse, for example!
  • DO dress smartly, but DON’T go over the top. There’s nothing more awkward than two people on a date dressed on completely different levels. If the place you’re going to has a dress code, make sure you both know it. If not, smart casual will do the trick. If you’ve come straight from work, you can always fall back on that as an excuse.
  • DON’T order messy food. If your date involves eating, you’ll want to eat politely, safely and tidily. You’ll want to avoid any foods that have sloppy sauces or might require slurping (spaghetti, noodle bowls, and so on), or spicy/greasy/heavy foods that might leave you feeling bloated or gassy – there’s nothing worse than burping and farting your way through the rest of the date. Appearing healthy is one quality that is extremely attractive to the opposite sex – it gives them an impression you care about yourself (in a way that is not narcissistic) – so fast food is not recommended either. And garlic and onion, no matter how tasty, reduce your chances of leaving a favourable impression and stealing an end-of-date kiss. Last, but not least, some food has a tendency to get stuck in teeth – avoid corn, spinach and anything with a lot of herbs.
  • DO enjoy an alcoholic drink or two (if you do indeed drink alcohol), but DON’T get really drunk. Alcohol is a great social lubricant and can wash away some of the anxiety and nervousness associated with a first date. But getting really drunk doesn’t lead to good decisions or good outcomes, despite what we might think at the time, and it isn’t sexy. Drink responsibly.
  • DON’T talk too much about yourself, but DO ask your date lots of open questions (questions like “What did you do last week/weekend?” or “What do you do in your spare time?”, instead of closed questions that end in a yes/no or similarly short answer. Good conversational flow makes for a good date. You should show that you are interested in finding out as much as possible about your date, without feeling like a job interview or coming across as an obsessed stalker!
  • DO meet in public. It will be more comfortable for both of you and protects you from any potentially awkward or dangerous situations.
  • DON’T expect anything physical. This mainly relates to physical interaction with your date and is mainly aimed at male readers, but the date will go much smoother going into it without any expectations (other than the expectation of a nice date). Go with the flow and don’t force anything – you’ll know if the moment’s right. Guys, act gentlemanly; similarly, ladies, act ladylike.
  • Finally, DO make your first date fun and leaving them wanting more, but, and this might sound counterintuitive, DON’T peak too early and make the fun of the first date unsurpassable. The first date sets a benchmark for (hopefully) following dates – if it’s too fun and exciting, you’ll have high expectations to live up to. On the other hand, if the date’s too slow and boring, you won’t get another one. The first date should give ample opportunity to get to know each other better with sufficient distraction (music, for example) to help with any awkward/nervous moments during the date. Action dates provide a fun way to interact with each other and can help you bond quicker than conversation can, but you want to build up to a crescendo (and not play all your cards at once!).

What are your dating dos and don’ts? Do you have a dating experience that went horribly wrong?

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